The Blah Blah Blog

The musings of a black sheep

On life myth and dreams continued…

“Our woal life is a idear we dint think of nor we dont know what it is” Riddley Walker said that in the novel by Russell Hoban. It’s one of my most favourite quotes ever. It speaks to my love of myth and dreaming, the wondrous potential of not quite known threads in...

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On life myth and dreams

Today I am sitting at my desk and (day)dreaming and I'm thinking back to a time when I was grabbed by something, it was an exciting driven time. I was looking to live something greater than the mundane everyday, as well as seeking greater psychological accord....

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Vale Stephen Wooldrige

Stephen Wooldridge died today. He a husband, father and an Olympic medal winning cyclist. He was 39 years old. There are many reports of his death in the Australian online news outlets. None mentions a cause of death, leaving to us guess. Sadly it is easy to guess as...

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Vale Chester Bennington

Chester Bennington, who was the lead singer of Linkin Park, ended his life last week. His loss was unexpected and very sad.   The reporting of Bennington's death has been a bit surprising to me. Many have detailed the method by which he died, I believe that's...

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Vale Jeremy Strode

I am saddened by the news that Jeremy Strode ended his life today. He is  described as a career chef, someone who started in the hospitality industry as a dishwasher at 14 years old. The Melbourne Wine Room at the George Hotel  was my favourite place for mid-week...

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Finding Dory and a bully (or two)

There is a problem with bullying. The obvious one being the potentially overwhelming affect on the bullied and right now I am referring to the problem of seeing the act of bullying for what it is.  I want to take issue with Finding Dory, the sequel to the Pixar movie...

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Small huge tiny big moments over coffee

My world is small, I have my favourite things, favourite places and favourite people. My taurean tendency is to be loyal, fixed with a preference for favourite things over new things. That was me today at Market Cafe (a favourite place), toting my shopping bag and...

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Andrew Solomon wants me to read him

In a series of meaningful coincidences, or synchronicities if you like, Andrew Solomon has been showing up in my world. In a favourite bookshop I came across his book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression. The book was written in 2001, I hadn't heard of it. I...

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Me, my sister and our Dad

My sister just reminded me that it is three years since our Dad died. I don't have a good sense of time, I do have a good sense of loss that years don't dull. After nodding our heads in wonder at the time that has passed we didn't say much more about Dad. It was one...

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LwSF group

Psst, I want to share a secret - For the last 18 months my friend Liz and I have been facilitating a regular group for people who live with suicidal feelings. The group is not really a secret, we are a low key sort of group and we try to keep attendance numbers small....

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Looking for explanations

In the wake of Robin William's death there has been a lot of trying to explain what brings someone to suicide. Impending dementia, or prescription drugs have been offered as explanations. I don't know that there is any way to understand the dark thoughts of another,...

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Distress tolerance

It is mid-winter here in Melbourne and so it is hardly surprising that I am thinking about warmth, in particular the emotional tone of warmth. I could also say a metaskill of warmth. Taken from Processwork a metaskill is a feeling attitude or tone, a quality to how a...

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The long and winding road to contentment

I enjoyed a conversation this morning about the value of not having goals and direction, about just getting through a day and about appreciating anything that gets done on those days. As we talked one thought connected to another, we lost one thread, kept talking and...

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Happy Valentines Day Maggie Estep

In her essay Think of This as a Window Maggie Estep wrote "I fell in love with New York City one day in 1971 when I saw dozens of people blithely stepping over a dead body on the side walk." I read that today in The New York Times, in Maggie Estep's obituary. A...

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L’chaim

'It's a strange pathology don't you think,' I say, 'to want to be something other than who you are?' Wynstan leans forward, places a hand on mine. He has seen my need and he will never shame me for showing it to him. 'It's the same old thing, isn't it?' he says. 'All...

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No solutions, elegant or otherwise

I find the term 'elegant solution' compelling. I think I would practically swoon if presented with an elegant solution for something. That's funny though as I can not recall any elegant solutions in my life for anything. Elegantly is just not reflective of how my...

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Another story of depression

Allie has written a part 2 to Adventures In Depression. Remember the first installment? There is something quite special about her work, simple and evocative. She captures something about depression that can be hard to describe to another. I know that because a number...

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Under pressure?

Depression can be accompanied by a desperate need for change as well as an overwhelming powerlessness to achieve that change. It is difficult for an outsider to understand that state, and it can be just as impossible for the one on the inside to be in touch with...

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Happiness as a disorder

Our moods sit somewhere along a continuum, with melancholy at one end and happiness as the polarity. The more desired states are at the happy end of the range. The pursuit of happiness is recorded as an inalienable right in the US declaration of independence. This...

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What are you afraid might happen to me?

Being asked for an emergency contact always annoys me, it is an interesting reaction. Who do I want someone to call on my behalf if, or when I am in an emergency? I don't want my friends alarmed on my behalf, and what could they do that I couldn't? Who might I trust...

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Yes! A bruise!

"Yes! A bruise" said a guy proudly showing his friends his accomplishment, a blue stain. I was passing the National Institute for Circus Arts when I overheard his lunch time conversation with friends. A bruise isn't often celebrated with his sort of gusto, he was a...

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Mum 1932- 2013

My mum passed away this month. It's now that odd post-funeral time when all is very quiet compared to the time that led to this. My grieving, which is complicated and untidy at the best of times, is a little quieter too. This is the time when I have to remind myself,...

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Suicide at Harvard

Harvard University describes itself as..."the oldest institution of higher education in the United States". Prestigious though it is there is a problem at Harvard... I find it noteworthy that there is something being done about it. Talking not hushing. A three part...

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