I have sat through more aircraft safety demonstrations than I can count.

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“A loss of oxygen at altitude may lead to a loss on consciousness. If emergency oxygen is required your mask will appear from above you pull down on it firmly to activate the flow of oxygen put it on quickly and tighten the strap. Once you are breathing normally you can help others including children.”

On a plane I rarely lift my eyes from my book for the safety instructions but tonight I am thinking of the role of a carer. I am thinking of how much love and selfless effort can be invested in supporting someone you love while I am also wondering about caring for the carers.

We care as best we can. In my own case, I could not have cared any more. Nor could I have cared any less. Despair brought my partner to a crisis, hopeless and isolated. I was right there amid the grey and the drizzle, trying to warm him and keep myself dry.

As I listen to the experiences of others, and the concerns, the hopes, the dreams of a carer, I can’t help thinking that the cabin crew are right, fit your own mask first.